I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Randomize
