A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Randomize
