Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
