I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
