but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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