I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Semen is not good for contacts.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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