I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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