these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
