You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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