Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Please, let me fuck your mom
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Randomize
