You work out of a Hotel?
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Randomize
