so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
