i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize