Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
