my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
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Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
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He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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