That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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