is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
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