Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
