Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
