You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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