I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
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