I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
