even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
