she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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