Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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