I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Randomize
