what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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