I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
