Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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