i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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