I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
