you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
