Tell her she can't have a vagina
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
