We're like a lot better than the average bears
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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