Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Be still, my beating vagina.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize