I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
