The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
