I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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