no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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