She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
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