Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
