id be glad to
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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