I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
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