Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
We just shotgunned beers for America
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Randomize