There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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