I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
