I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
