I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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