I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Please, let me fuck your mom
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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