Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Randomize
