i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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