Kareoke will never be a sober sport
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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