I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
