so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
