Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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