Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Randomize
