what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
