Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize