I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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