so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
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We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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