My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
