Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
