you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
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