i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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