the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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