I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
In America we eat man semen.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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